Waves rolling up a shore over rocks. The Atlantic coast was flooded with tourists and surfers. Children were running around chasing the seagulls and making sandcastles. People were tanning, swimming and just having fun in the sun.
Then there I was all alone sitting by the waves hoping that something good would happen. I was waiting for a friend. Some one who I could play catch with or someone to make a sandcastle with. Just someone, someone who could be my friend.
I like your journal entry Jack.
ReplyDeleteThe description of you not having no one to play with while everybody else had a friend was great.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you said the beach was "flooded with tourists and surfers." I think your story was deep and poetic and your sentances worked well.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really nice first entry. I would say that the way you went from using sensory description to a real statement about lonliness, and friendship was pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteNext time, work on tense, keeping the whole entry one tense. You flip from present to past, and that's not a good thing. Also, the red and black are a little rough on the eyes. (hard to read)