This was a fun piece I thought I would experiment writing in another person's voice.
When the bus came up to my corner I slowly walked to the bus, every time I have to sit in the front so I don't get in to "trouble". The bus driver blames me for everything that happens in the bus. Even the stuff that happens in the back he thinks is my fault. If only I had a car. Oh well, I guess I'll have to stay out of his way.
When I got off the bus the bus driver gave me the look like he always does. Then I go to my first hour class, gym, I'm not the kind of guy for sports, but I'm really good with math and non-sport kind of events. I try to be good at sports, but I just can't do it, so I tried to succeed in school and I do. Sometimes I think it isn't enough to be good at school, but I know school is good for you, so I do the best I can.
Throughout school I aced every test and got all A's on my homework, sometimes that's the only thing that made me popular.
To Be Continued
I can really hear the voice in this piece. I'm looking forward to seeing more.
ReplyDeleteWhose voice were you trying to experiment with because it would make this piece a lot clearer and it sounds like this was a response to novel so i guess I'm wondering why you wanted to do this and what you were hoping to accomplish?
ReplyDeleteNice piece Jack. It is a good beginning piece. I'm going to have to read your follow up.
ReplyDelete*paragraphs
ReplyDeleteThis is a nice piece, but you change perspectives all throughout the paragrphs. You should fix this. But otherwise, I thought that it was fun to read. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI think the voice changes a little throughout the piece. For example the sentence "Then I go to my first hour class,gym." It should have been then I went to my first hour class.
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